You Are Getting Colder...

Dear Trap Mary,
I love my boyfriend and been with him for a while, but I can never achieve an organism during sex.  Is it me? Or is he doing something wrong?

Signed,

Can't find the hot spot.

 

Dear Hot Spot,

Love Bug, the answer to that is it could be you, him, or even both of you.

You have to understand that - like I always say- Communication is the key.  It seems that your two bodies aren't communicating with each other during intercourse.  Whether it's rhythm or routine, something needs to change.

Unfortunately, many women experience this very same thing..it's very common.  Men don't have the same anotomic design that we do-and believe it or not, all women's genetalia is different.  So he needs to learn how your body works down there...and perhaps you do, too.

Even though you have had your body for your entire life, you may even not completely understand it's ins and outs (no pun intended).  You need to discover what actions bring you to orgasm, and then share that information with him.  Let him know that it's not necessarily him - that it is in fact that your bodies need to learn how to "dance" with one another.

Now, something you could try is when the two of you are having intercourse, reach down and massage your clitoris.  Not only will this excite you and bring you closer to the organism that you so eagerly desire, and it will probably excite him as well.

So discover what makes you tick.

Be open to him.

And with combined efforts, both of you can experience satisfaction.

Hope this helps, Love Bug.

Dear Trap Mary