Tired of hearing the blues

 Dear Trap Mary,

Okay, a good friend of mine is always complaining about being lonely and she wants a boyfriend and a kid, but she's the type to OVER ANALYZE situations when she's in a relationship. Which leads her to be single. She's very insecure and feels that everyone should listen to her problems. She nags constantly, but she's an overall nice girl and I don't want to lose her as a friend.

How do I tell her in the nicest way possible that I honestly do not care about her relationship problems. She creates most of them, anyway. And when we talk I don't want to hear anything regard her relationship status. Please I need an answer!! Lol I don't want to say the wrong thing to her and cause a feud between us.

I need advice ASAP!

Signed,

Don't want to hear the blues!

Dear Blues,

It's understandable that you don't want to continue to hear your friend complaining over and over again.  Before you advise you on how to stop her, I must first REMIND you that she is your friend-and friends tell each other things (good things, bad things, personal things, etc.).  When I was about seven years old, my grandmother gave me a bookmark that had a saying on it, "A friend is someone who knows all about you, but loves you anyway".  Wow...doesn't that say it all?!  If you are truly her friend, then you will love her whether she's telling you the end of the world is happening for her or if she's telling you that she hit the lottery.  The fact that she trusts you with her feelings says a lot!

If her complaints are bringing your spirits down, perhaps you could try to assist her in finding Mr. Right.  Now, it seems like she's having some inner-issues, so why not suggest to her that she do a little "personal development".  I went through a year of Personal Development with a therapist because I wanted to stop dating the same type of person over and over again-it was getting a little old.  It was Albert Einstein that said Insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Though that's not the true definition of insanity, it sure is close!  And over analyzing situations may be a clear indication that she needs to work on herself.  So be a friend and try to help her get that kind of help.  Love Bug, I'm sure once she begins to put energy into finding out who she is and what kind of man she needs, she will have less complaints (and you can stop hearing the blues from her).  Give her some self help books, some self help quizes, and perhaps even suggest therapy (believe it or not, individuals can go through couples therapy without a partner!) And for Pete's Sake...advise her to not find a BOYFRIEND to have a child with, she should want to have a child with A HUSBAND, lol.

Good luck!

Dear Trap Mary