He wont claim me

Dear Trap Mary,

I've been seeing this guy for about 10 months and I really like him. Everything I ask him about our relationship status he says he's still getting to know me. I want to be with him and call him my boyfriend! But I feel like he doesn't want to call me his girl. We do everything couples do and then some. He always talks about he bad past relationships, but I always tell him that I promise I'm not like his exes, what to do? I'm so lost. I want to be with him how do I get him to want to be with me.?

Signed,

Lost

Dear Lost,

This man didn't make you, so surely he can't break you! You've given your all, but do you really feel as though you have to prove to him that you're worth the claim? Yes, some people don't like to get caught up in titles (believe me, I used to be one of those people), but there seems to be an underlining issue of "fear of commitment", and Love Bug, only he can get himself through that one.

See, nowadays folks don't like to admit that they have issues. Sure, he's opening up to at least tell you that he's been through hell and back with past relationships-but I think he's also giving you his answer...HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. He's fine where you are. But the important thing is that YOU AREN'T FINE WITH IT.

The last thing you want is for him (or anyone) to resent you for pressuring him into a relationship. It's not worth it in the end because you'll never know if he chose you because he wanted to or if it was just to shut you up. You've invested 10 months already, so I won't advise you to just dump him and keep it moving (even though I want to say that)...so instead, if you honestly feel that this isn't working for you, and you are COMPLETELY willing to lose him for the sake of a title (and there's nothing wrong with that), then simply be honest with him. Tell him that you've put 10 months in and are ready for a commitment from him. Ask him if he will be your boyfriend. Tell him that it hurts you that you are good enough to date but not good enough to be his girlfriend. Tell him why this is important to you, and don't let him pull that "it's just a title" bull. If he says no after you have opened up to him, then let him know that you can no longer date him and to please just let you go so that you can heal.

There is a real possiblity that he may not claim you, and that you'll have to walk away. But better to walk away knowing that you gave it your all then to stay in and be unhappy. I'm sure there is someone out there that will be more than willing to claim you as their own...but you'll never know if you don't make yourself available to them. Don't miss out on your blessings ...life is too short for unhappy endings!

Hope this works out, Love Bug!

Dear Trap Mary