Baby Daddy Is Married But Not To Me

Dear Trap Mary,

I am 24. I have a 10 month old daughter. Right now the father and I live together and trying to be a family. He's married. He's been separated from his wife since before we got together. He tells me that even once the divorce is finalized he doesn't want to rush into marriage. (By the way, I am the 2nd woman he has dated since his separation and he "wanted" to marry the last girl). Should I just move on? Or hang on to hope? Also there's another man that I've known for years and he  is in love with me. He has no problem with marrying me and making a family with me and being a step-dad to my daughter.

Signed,

Baby and Me makes 3

Dear Baby,

Love Bug, I think you know the answer to this one.  Not saying that he won't divorce his wife and eventually marry again-but if you already have a man who loves you and your child and wants to make it official, then I'd say go for that.

The fact that your man has been living with you all of this time but still hasn't filed for divorce says alot.  It says that he's not serious about making this family complete, that he uses his marriage as an excuse not to fully committ to another woman (in this case, you), and that he doesn't value what you feel is ideal for the way your want your child to be nurtured in.

Make sure that this other fellow is really serious about "putting a ring on it" and if he is and you are indeed in love with him, too-then go for it.  However, if you are not in love with your friend, don't "settle" just because you want marriage.  Marriage should be a thing that two people mutually want.

If it turns out that you are not in love with your friend, then honestly you AND your child would be better off by yourself.  Living in a household where unhappiness is present is the story in too many people's lives.  And honestly, it's just not worth it!

Hope this helps,

Dear Trap Mary